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失憶的丈夫、失意的妻子
這個故事的開始是這樣的,在婚禮之後第十八個月的時候,克里夫就罹患了失憶症。在他每一個清醒的時刻,都像是剛從夢中醒來,所以他的人生,也可以說是介於半夢半醒之間。他的記憶只能維持七秒鐘。對他來說任何資訊都是新的,但也都是無效的,每一個記憶都像雪花飄落,幾秒鐘後就消逝無蹤。
他的妻子黛博拉說:「克里夫不但忘了過去,也無法記憶新的東西。」
他說話變得支離破碎,醫生拿領帶、鋼筆等問他是什麼,他都一律回答:「雞。」他甚至開始把話倒轉來說。有一天他想起了妻子的名字,卻不由自主地叫她「拉博黛」。住院時間,克里夫甚至開始變得暴躁,有時還會把妻子打倒在地上,可以說是病得一蹋糊塗。
忘了一切,只記得妻子
說也奇怪,都病成這樣了,克里夫居然還知道這個女人是他的妻子,知道要望著她的眼睛,說我愛妳。由於情緒方面的記憶並未完全喪失,克里夫終於察覺到自己失去了一些甚麼。他想弄清楚發生什麼事,想要知道自己是誰,但怎樣也想不起來!
直到有一天,黛博拉把克里夫帶到醫院的小禮拜堂,叫他坐在風琴前。克里夫對著樂譜就自動彈起來。他雖然還是想不起自己是誰,這個世界發生了甚麼事,但他不著痕跡地便尋回了音樂。
針對這樣令人驚愕的情形,一位腦神經專家解釋說:「音樂屬於克里夫的程序式記憶,就像走路或騎腳踏車。」
那一年,小禮拜堂成為他們夫婦的秘密樂園。
仍佇足停留的,是心
但人生不會只有美好和安慰的一面。一九八六年,黛博拉不得不賣掉住處,並且開始兼職以應付開支。她整個暴飲暴食,忽胖忽瘦,內心感到永遠填不滿的空虛,甚至想要帶著丈夫一起走進海裏。因為她那只懂得彈琴和說愛她的丈夫,永遠都會重複問她同樣的問題,她的人生不再有意外和驚喜。
終於在一九九三年春天,黛博拉覺得不能再這樣下去了,她有限的愛,已無法支持她這樣年復一年,日復一日和丈夫重複同樣的對話。她離開英國,離開丈夫,遠渡大西洋到紐約去,並且交了幾個男朋友,她以為這樣可以快樂些。

唯有愛,能超越一切挑戰
然而三年之後,她終於停下腳步,體認到一個殘酷而甜蜜的事實:「我心裡只有克里夫。」二○○二年復活節那天,他們在教堂裡重複結婚誓言。黛博拉告訴記者:「我和丈夫不能有夫妻間的肉體接觸,關係不無缺憾。但我們深愛對方。他對我來說,始終是世界上最好的男人。他無條件的愛我,衷心支持我,對我一心一意。和我一起,就絕對不會想到他人。有多少女人的丈夫會這樣?」
在克里夫的房間裡,放著鋼琴和小風琴。當克里夫坐下來彈鋼琴,黛博拉也坐在鋼琴椅上,一隻手環腰抱著丈夫,看著他的手指在琴鍵上飛舞。
他永遠也忘不了的,是音樂和愛。
而她永遠也忘不了的,是他的音樂和他的愛。
本篇圖文皆出自 《水深之處》
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