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(Alfonsina Blyde, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
Me2We小編按:關係中有衝突並非世界末日,其實只要簡單掌握三個步驟,就能夠使「衝突」成為關係中的「祝福」喔!^_^
--
在親密之旅12課中,有一課談到關係修復的十步驟,黃維仁博士在課程中,也提供了簡化後的七步驟,這邊要跟大家聊聊這七步驟可以簡化成三個階段:預備Prepare、說明Presentation、提升Promote。
預備Prepare
這部分主要有兩個過程,
1.「徵求對話」,徵求對方願意談談發生衝突的事情。
2.「智慧存款」,在對話的開始不就事件的本身進行描述,而先向對方存款,表達對其願意開啟談話的感謝。 說明Presentation
這部分分成三個部分, 1.說明事實-不帶判斷與評論的描述事實,幫助雙方確認對於事情的經過有一致的認知。 2.標明情緒-標明自己當下的情緒,讓對方知道自己的情緒為何?避免因誤解情緒所帶來的爭吵。 3.解釋需求-向對方陳明自己當下的需要。
提升Promote
這部分也可分成三個部分 1.自己改進-先表達在已過的衝突中,自己可以做甚麼樣的改進,也會運用在未來類似的情境中。 2.對方幫助-建議對方之後若是遇到類似的情形可以如何幫助自己。 3.肯定努力-最後再次肯定對方願意與自己對話所做的努力。
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