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(Helen K, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
Me2We小編按：經歷了下述三個步驟後
2.決定要說出來（延伸閱讀：我應該讓他知道我在生氣嗎？）
3.判斷適當的表達時機
我們更需要知道「要為自己的情緒負責」，因此表達的角度要「陳述自己」、而非「指責對方」。用智慧選擇「主詞」，溝通效果會大大不同喔！
情緒掌握在自己手中
在親密之旅課程中，黃博士常常邀請大家和他打一個賭，若是有人能夠在五分鐘之內讓他生氣，他會付給對方一千元；如果五分鐘之內沒有人能夠讓他生氣，只要付給黃博士一百元，看似是一賠十的賠率，卻沒有人敢和他賭，為什麼？因為情緒是我們可以自己掌握的。
為自己的情緒負責
既然情緒掌握在自己手中，那我們就應該要為自己負責。當我們有情緒產生並且決定告訴對方的時候，應該使用以自己為出發點的負責語言而非以對方為主詞的卸責語言。舉例來說有一天我在洗碗，另一半卻在看電視看得很開心，讓我的情緒有點難過，以下是兩種的說法
負責語言：我覺得很難過，因為我在洗碗的時候你沒有關心我。 卸責語言：你讓我很難過，因為我在洗碗的時候你沒有關心我。
雖然以上兩句乍聽之下差不多，卻很有可能造成對方截然不同的反應。讓我們為自己的情緒負責吧！
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