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Me2We小編按:理解了五種愛的語言後,只要了解如何落實在生活中,必定能發揮最大的價值!(延伸閱讀:讓家庭幸福的愛之語 (1) - 總論篇上)
夫妻關係,「到位」和「對味」?
要如何落實愛之語在夫妻相處當中呢?以下有三點建議:
一、投其所好,而非給己所要:了解對方的愛之語是非常關鍵的。有時先生買了貴重的禮物送給太太當生日賀禮,或許太太心裡想要的只是回到第一次約會的地方,喝杯浪漫的咖啡。所以愛是投其所好,而非單單用主觀的方式去表達,找到對方的愛之語才是關鍵。
二、透過練習,存一進百:這是一個從「知道」邁向「做到」的練習過程。例如:先生上班前、下班後,和妻子擁抱和親吻,妻子感受到被愛、被呵護,而先生下了班進家門,太太主動回以熱情的微笑和肯定的讚美、關懷甚至鼓勵,先生一天的辛苦、委屈,霎時幾乎消失,相信先生會更喜歡回家、提早回家,甚至願意洗碗,倒垃圾。由此可見透過日常的練習,就能讓愛的存款存一進百。
三、學習「標明」和「刻意」的藝術:當我們標明對方努力、用心的態度、成果,對方會感覺到被肯定、被重視,此時就促進了雙方邁向更緊密的關係;而「刻意」在夫妻陷入僵局中,則是一個高 EQ 的破冰方法,通常在冷戰中,雙方都不願主動示好,為了不讓關係持續惡化,我們要學習刻意釋出正向的訊息,這是突破關係冷戰的關鍵方法。
黃維仁博士常說:「人和人之間最難能可貴的關係就是『親』。」而「親」是建立在同理、接納和真誠的基礎上,也就是「愛」的關係。期待從我們自己開始,透過愛之語,讓夫妻關係、親子關係展現幸福的新風貌。
(還有更多精采又實用的文章續集,敬請期待)
本內容獲財團法人愛家文化事業基金會之《家庭好時光》雜誌授權刊載
作者:親密之旅培訓師 花蓮市中原國小校長 唐有毅
歡迎瀏覽 愛家文化事業基金會網站 及 愛家文化事業基金會粉絲頁
希望為婚姻做好預備的您,或期待婚姻生活好上加好的您
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